I am a parasite.
But you might not see that.
I’ve lived a lifetime of hiding it,
Even before I knew it.
I don’t sneak in on raw meat,
I’m far more insidious.
I don’t slither inside through a cut on your feet.
I’m not all that blindingly hideous.
You see, I walk and talk just like
A normal human being,
But I’m a parasite,
Whether or not you see it.
I come with gifts,
I make you laugh,
I make human fumbles and slips,
And I always go last.
I make you like me.
I bring you the world,
I lasso the moon,
I give you my word,
And what you wish, I do.
I make you love me.
Once I have you,
Once I’m in,
I never leave you.
But if you wish to walk away,
I won’t stop you,
Will have nothing harsh to say,
Nothing cruel to do.
I will levy no guilt.
I’ll say it’s my fault,
And it probably is,
For all that I am.
Because I get inside,
Because I’m a parasite.
And you’ll only ever know if you look at me,
When you’ve been gone too long by far,
When, if you care enough to look closely,
You will see how I’ve starved.
Because on those nights
Spitefully lit by streetlights
Breaking through cracked blinds,
All I can feel is cold inside.
I see the white-blue light press
Upon my face and arms and chest,
I feel the still air wrapped around where arms should be,
And dream that maybe, if I cling to hope, there could be.
And I cry,
And, as I drift away, I start to die.
But then time with you will roll around,
And I will pick myself up off the ground,
And run to you, begging you to let me back by your side,
Because I’m still that same parasite,
Because you don’t even have to touch me
For the worm I am to feed;
For you to love, to know, to care, even just to see,
Is all that I need.
I am a parasite,
But I’m beggin you,
Don’t let me die,
Don’t cough me back out and throw me away,
Don’t leave me to writhe and bake in the light of day.
Please, I beg you,
And I know I’ll never deserve it,
But please let me love you,
And please don’t hate me for it,
And I know that I’m sick,
But please love me too.